MAGPIE'S MUMBLINGS

A blog about my interests, which include fabric landscapes and various and assorted other artsy pursuits and sometimes known to contain mumblings of a random nature.

Monday, November 02, 2020

Mumblings, of a random nature

 Today, because I have lots of mumblings to share, I think I won't subject you to what I've been working on.  Suffice to say one ball of yarn does not a pair of socks make (argh!) and on a positive note, applesauce happened.  

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Most of you know that Pam Kellogg has passed the reins of the crazy quilting magazine over to the capable hands of Lisa Boni.  The first issue under her guidance is now available HERE!  I'm listed as one of the Editorial Assistants on this publication so please check it out!



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AND - many of you will remember me posting a link to the latest '30 Days To Less' challenge that was happening all throughout October on Becki's blog.  Now she has come up with another challenge that will last all year and help with your decluttering and downsizing (AND it's fun too!).  Go HERE to read her post to find out more.

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AND, in the interests of it never being said that this is not a full-service blog (hah!), I've discovered something (with thanks to Maureen!) that I thought I should share with you.  If you, like me, are having a hard time reading some of the small print online, try simultaneously using your 'Ctrl' and the '+' buttons on your keyboard.  Click until you reach the size that's comfortable for reading.  My cataracts are thanking you Maureen!!

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- The weekly newsletter from Inspirations had a bit about THIS artist and I must admit I was wowed by what she does!  Be sure to look through all her galleries.

- THESE are really cute - and would make great decorations (and gifts too!)

- Bonnie Hunter has just announced the beginning of her new mystery Quiltalong and you can read all about it HERE.  

- I'm seeing a lot of pocket shawls showing up 'round and about the internet so thought I'd share an easy crochet version HERE that looks like it would be a quick-make for Christmas giving.

- If you're in the gnome-liking camp, perhaps one of THESE would be fun to have on display over the Christmas season - and with a simple change of colour, any time of the year.

- THIS takes you to part one of a great tutorial to make fabric moths (no - not the type the eats your woolens!!).  If you scroll to the bottom of the post you will find links to the remaining parts of the tutorial.

Today, instead of a quote, I'm going to share something that had both Resident Chef and I in tears of laughter.  Hopefully you will enjoy it too!

Do you fart in bed ?
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I’ll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning
she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…….............…..”

19 comments:

  1. Nooooooooooooooooo! LOL!
    Cooking turkey will never be the same...I'll be laughing so much.

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    1. I debated the wisdom of sharing that 'funny' but in the end I simply had to. Hope it doesn't offend anybody!

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  2. That's a pretty funny story. Your post today is just filled with goodness. I wish I knew how to knit. We're purging and I just found a bag full of corks - but maybe that will spawn another idea to use them. That gnome came up in my feed the other day and I've already filed it, but I do like your idea to make it seasonal. Great thought. Happy November!

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    1. There are all kinds of ideas on the internet for uses for corks...I've seen a really nice hot mat made with them. I'd maybe make one - IF we drank wine and had corks! Glad you enjoyed the latest edition of my mumblings.

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  3. Oh my Gosh! On the floor laughing! 10 points for that story! And I bought the digital copy of the Crazy Quilt Mag....going to go read it now! How many times a year does it come out? I may decide next time I need the print copy too. And had to laugh at the thought of the TP Gnome losing his "guts" if we have another TP shortage! Thanks for a wonderful post today my friend....still laughing....

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    1. Yay...so glad I made you laugh! We need more of that righty now. Hope you enjoy the magazine....it's published 4 times per year.
      And now you've made ME laugh at the TP Gnome losing his guts....giggle.....

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    2. glad to be able to reciprocate with a giggle!

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  4. Hilarious story Mary Anne!
    Our collection of corks recently went to a new home ..... but I fear we just may have to have some tiny trees this Christmas!
    😊
    Barbara xx

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    1. Glad you enjoyed the little funny Barbara - it sure tickled our funny bones anyway. Those teeny trees are cute but I'm not about to take up drinking wine just so I can make them.

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  5. My husband & I cracked up over that story!!! Oh, my. I won't forget that one for awhile. Needed that chuckled - laughed so hard, I had tears in my eyes.

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    1. Glad you laughed as hard as Resident Chef and I did. I debated about sharing it but in the end I simply had to!

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  6. Okay... I didn't think that story could possibly end very funny, but here I am at the end of it, giggling uncontrollably.

    I hope you join the challenge - just because I know you've got some clever stuff and it's always fun to look over your discards. :) Seriously, though... the best part (IMO) is there's no pressure, ever. Thanks for sharing it, Mary Anne.

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    1. I don't know how many times I've re-read that 'funny' and I laugh every single time. The mental picture it conjures up is just too good!
      As for the challenge - we got rid of a bunch of stuff today so I took photos of some of it. At least that's a start!

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  7. Congratulations on your new Crazy Quilt spot. Yes, I'm still subscribed and enjoying it.

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    1. Glad you enjoy the magazine Joy - it's fun to see all the great articles and tutorials (and eye candy!) that arrives for each issue.

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  8. Not only did I laugh but when I read it out loud to hubby we both laughed. Just the visual it conjures up is hilarious! Thank you for great links...if only they came with free time. Blessings Dear.

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    1. Oh yes - the visual was what did me in too. I still snicker every time I think about it.

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  9. We both enjoyed that story. Why are we windier when older, I wonder. lol

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Thank you so much for leaving comments! I appreciate you taking the time out of your busy life to talk to me. It's wonderful to know that someone is actually reading my mumblings and even more fun if I can connect with you and visit your blog.