Very first blog entry. Ask me if I'm terrified. Ask me if I think I know what I'm doing. Ask me if I think anybody is ever going to read this.
Quite truthfully, I rather expect my foray into the blogging world is just another attempt on my part to avoid doing what I really have hopes of doing. Sounds odd, I know. However, out and out fear enters into me every time I consider becoming any sort of 'artist' as opposed to being a 'craftsperson'. Some would argue that they are one and the same. Tell that to my brain!
I am a collector. Of ideas, plans, wishful thinkings. I collect how-to's with tremendous zeal. I collect raw materials until they overwhelm me. Above all, I dream - of what I could do, if only I knew how to start.
Procrastination...is that part of it? Do I procrastinate because I'm afraid to fail? Or is my inner self telling me that I WILL fail and it is a waste of time to even begin.
Is it perfectionism? Maybe. Maybe I want my artistic endeavours to be so perfect in their execution that I feel overwhelmed before I even begin.
Downright fear is a large part of it too. Fear that I will fall on my face. Fear that I will be laughed at. Fear that I will be ridiculed for even daring to think that I might become any sort of artist.
Above all, is the self-talk. It is so easy to convince myself that I am not good enough; that I am wasting my time trying to create; and that I should give it all up and go and spend more time with my husband. Questions to ponder......
Sherry of createology March 20, 2023: Sweet Mary Anne you have just written everything I feel and think and say to myself. So many years later now that you have been blogging and putting yourself and your creations out into the world of blogging YOU definitely are and ARTIST. Your skills are many and you excel in each of them. Congratulations! I consider you my friend and I am very grateful.ReplyDelete
Thank you Sherry! I consider myself so fortunate to have made a number of wonderful friends through blogging (you being one!)Delete