This is me.
(for those of you who get offended easily, you'd best move right along)
I have reached the conclusion that bras HAVE to have been invented by a man. A diabolical, sadistic, and brain-dead man. No woman in her right mind would design such a thing.
To explain....your writer has rather large 'girls' so really should wear one of those instruments of torture. She also has 'Arthur' in her shoulder which means that the normal contortions required to do up a bra no longer apply. So...she has to do up the instrument and then attempt to wiggle into it by putting it over her head. That means much wiggling and floofing in an attempt to settle the girls in place. Meanwhile, at the backside of the enterprise things are rolled up (and cemented thereby) which requires yet more contortions to get unrolled. THEN....to compound matters (and here's the real design flaw)...the strap unsnaps itself from the back of the instrument and sproings away, striking your writer in the mouth, who by this time is uttering words not the least bit lady-like. There's no hope of reaching behind to reattach the sproingee - so - after much more wiggling and uttering sweet nothings, said instrument is removed. The sproinger is resnapped and she begins the entire enterprise again. Why, I ask you, does said instrument have the sproing-ee strappy thingie do-upper (very technical term, only found in a Funk and Wagnall's tome) at the BACK when it could just as easily be at the FRONT?
Now before you offer up interesting suggestions like maybe try a front-loading instrument or (horrors) a sports bra....those have all been tried and pronounced dead to me. Front loaders mean that there's a huge 'hole' in the middle of my front...handy for holding a salt shaker, but looks absolutely disgusting beneath clothes. Sports bras (see above for description of contortianisms, only multiply them ten-fold). Going instrument-less is always an option but tucking 'em into my pants is a whole 'nother element of pain.
Yep, had to have been a man....
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Have a peek through the galleries of THIS artist.
- HERE is a quilt design that would be nice to make and use as a fundraiser for breast cancer. I know the link there takes you to a paid pattern, but thought I'd share it anyway.
- There are some cute free designs HERE.
- I rather like THESE - something a little different for Easter.
Today's quote..."We seem to live in a world where the intelligent must keep quiet so that the stupid will not be offended"