MAGPIE'S MUMBLINGS

A blog about my interests, which include crazy quilting and various and assorted other artsy pursuits and sometimes known to contain mumblings of a random nature.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

A story

Now, boys and girls, it's storytime.  Please sit in your seats and be quiet while Magpie tells a story...

Once upon a time, in a Magpie's world, there lived a silly lady.  She was of a 'certain age' and on occasion (rarely, very rarely) she might be just a little bit forgetful.  It's a condition that is found in ladies who also often find themselves going on a number of unexpected tropical vacations, if you get my drift.

Anyway, the Magpie spent a very long time typing three very large books all about her family and their history, and she even had them published.  Even more time passed, and the Magpie managed to sell a number of copies of her books which made her very happy.

More time passed, and one day the Magpie had a special request from a museum that wanted to add a copy of all three of her books to their collection.  Well, the Magpie would be honoured to do that very thing, but alas - when the Magpie went to the shelf to get the books there were none left of the second book.

Oh no!!

What to do?  What to do?

Well, it so happened that a very nice man had printed the books for the Magpie and perhaps he could be convinced to print just a tiny few more?  The Magpie hurried to the computer and sent off a pleading email and waited for an answer.

Oh happy day!  The very nice man could do that very thing, but it would cost a bit more because he would have to get another very nice man to hand bind them.  The Magpie sent him a happy email and asked that she be given a quote before proceeding (because, after all, this book publication business is not cheap).

Fast forward a week and a half and kiddos we find The Magpie and Mr. Magpie in the bedroom.  (now, now - no tittering you lot at the back - I can hear you!!).  We see the vacuum in the corner and the mattress standing at attention at the foot of the bed.  Mr. Magpie flexes his muscles, lifts the box spring, and what to their wondering eyes did appear?

Out of the cloud of dust that arose...

Ten copies of the wanted book!

Yes, TEN copies!!

'My goodness' exclaimed The Magpie!   '- - - - - -' exclaimed Mr. Magpie!!

'Never mind' said The Magpie.  'Nice book printing man hasn't sent a quote yet, so it will be okay'.

The Magpie hurried to the computer and wrote a very apologetic email to the nice man, explaining that she suffered from that horrible disease called 'mental-pause' and therefore could not be held accountable for her actions and begging his forgiveness.

CHAPTER TWO

The very next day the Magpie received an email.  Written by the very nice man.  It was a very nice email too.

But, guess what?  The very nice man was forgetful too!  He forgot all about the quote.  He printed five copies.  He bound five copies (by hand).  He had them ready to ship.  Oh dear!!

The Magpie remembers the days of
using the catalog for toilet paper.

Anybody want some?

THE END.  

Instead of a quote, I leave you with this....








15 comments:

Createology said...

Miss Magpie you have me completely in laughter mode. Under the mattress??? For keeping the books flat and safe??? Sounds like something my amazingly wonderful Grandma would do. How grateful it all turned out to be fine. Beautiful last day of May...

Judys Lace Creations said...

Oh dear..there must be something about mattresses for keeping things safe.Customer at local Credit Union told the assistant she had many,many envelopes of money under her mattress because she hated feeling poor.

Baa. xxx said...

Ha...ha.... under the mattress........with the bank notes??? How amazing you found them. Hope the next 5 copies didn't cost too much.

KimM said...

Oh my gosh! How you made me laugh. Thank you for the story.....and the stages of mental-pause - HA!
xxx

Anonymous said...

Oh, LOL!!! That was truly a wonderful story, Miss Magpie. Thank you for bringing smiles and chuckles to the beginning of my day.
Maureen S

Christine Barnsley said...

Mary Anne you have made me laugh so much..... mostly because the setting for the story may be different here but the story is very familiar!! Christine x

Carol- Beads and Birds said...

HMMM, I store my Comforter under the mattress in the summer, but I admit I have never put books there. When my mother died, we found all kinds of things hidden in places no one would ever think of. You know the old story of finding money behind the picture? We also had to check the pockets of every piece of clothes hanging in the closet.

Let that be a lesson to you. Love the Maxine too!
xx, Carol

Sandra said...

Thanks for the chuckle.

Wandering Wren said...

Ha Ha that is so funny, it could be me especially as we have a really silly design in our bed that has a secret storage compartment in the bed, but you can only reach it by getting a crane (or my husband and son) to lift off the mattress and lift up the underneath of the bed - honestly what sort of a person thought that was a good idea... don't tell me, a man! How exciting to have the library want copies of your book!
Wren x

Suztats said...

ROFLMAO!!! Love it!

FlashinScissors said...

So pleased the library wanted your book!

A lovely story, I'm glad the bookman made the books for you anyway, and that you found the extra books, fantastic.

Barbara xx

liniecat said...

LOL noooo not loo paper no!
I am totally convinced that Fate needs you to have extra books at hand, ready for the next museum request!
( maybe check under any other beds too .....)

Connie Eyberg Originals said...

Didn't know you had written books! Talented lady. Excited for you that a museum wants to add them to their collection (and that you had some to send). Great post. I can see why you have written books.

Vicki W said...

Great story! It happens to all of us.

karen said...

even though you have too may books and as you know I have none......I would like to congratulate you on the museum aspect!!!! woo hoo!! You won't be talking to us mere mortals soon :)